yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
