i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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