I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
