I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
