how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
