ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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