She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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