ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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