All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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