apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
