Don't make out with my wife yet
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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