Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
