if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
