You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
