Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
