Farmville is her only friend.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
