I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just googled if crying burns calories
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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