Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Farmville is her only friend.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
