There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
