Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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