Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
