I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Your penis caused this!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
