We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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