next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize