they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my shit smells like andre
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
