im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
