Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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