we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
