It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
