This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize