the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize