ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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