lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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