U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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