Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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