I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
