Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
