I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
