OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
