thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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