I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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