Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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