Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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