oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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