They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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