I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She told me I should be a condom model.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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