Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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