she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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