is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
