we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
