toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize