fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
