Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize