So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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