Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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