Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm jealous of your bromance
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
