Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
