You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So I just went to clothing optional bar
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
