Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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