Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
