I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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