I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
