Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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